


Unsolved Mysteries With Carina Smyth And Henry Turner

by hentailobster



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, bfu format, no actual bfu characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2020-03-01 05:17:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18793768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hentailobster/pseuds/hentailobster
Summary: In which the ghost enthusiast Henry Turner and his non-believing friend look at a series of horror stories from the sea





	1. The Cursed Black Pearl

[We open to a dimly lit room, in which a boy and girl are seated. He’s got a stack of notes, she’s trying to balance an eraser on her nose. Ignoring her attempts, Henry welcomes us to the show.

 

”This week on Unsolved Mysteries I’ll be starting a series of episodes I’ve been wanting to do since…basically forever” Henry smiles, looking giddily at Carina ”It’s sea legends” 

 

”You know what” Carina can’t quite match Henry’s enthusiasm ”Go ahead. I’m curious as to what you’ve come up with” 

 

”Well, the first legend we have and that we’re covering in this episode is that of the cursed Black Pearl” Henry says ”Let’s have a look” 

 

”Sounds fun”

 

We shift to narration, over a series of animated images.]

 

”The legend of the _Black Pearl_ dates back to the eighteenth century, when tales began to circulate about a mysterious ship with black sails. According to legend this ship, known as the _Black Pearl_ , was faster than any ship known at the time, crewed by damned men and captained by a man ’so evil that hell itself spat him back out’”

 

_Henry…I gotta ask_

 

_yeah?_

 

_you know this is ’unsolved mysteries’, right?_

 

_yeah_

 

_and to me…this doesn’t sound as much as a mystery as it does some eighteenth century sailor trying to scare his…shipmates or whatever_

 

_we’re off to a great start, I see_

 

_I’m just saying! I don’t see how you can call this a mystery_

 

_the mystery is if the ship is real or not and if it was cursed how is that so hard to understand?!_

 

_wha- I’m…Henry….I think I solved your mystery-_

 

_don’t you finish that sentence_

 

_and the answer is no. it definitely wasn’t cursed_

 

_… I- (sighs) can you please just let me tell the story?_

 

_fine. but I’m going to complain the entire time_

 

”The first stories of the ship originate from the Caribbean sea, but can be traced as far as to Singapore. It was said to be most active during a ten year period, from around 1718 and forward, during which there are reports of a ship with black sails raiding settlements and merchant ships” 

 

_historical records?_

 

_why do you sound so doubtful? yes! there are historical records_

 

_because you were talking about it, so I assumed there was no solid proof whatsoever of this ship being real. with that said though…any ship could have black sails. especially if there’s a legend to cash in on_

 

_still, you don’t think it’s odd?_

 

_I think…pirates did have a flare for the dramatic and if one armed Joe is going around telling people about this dude with a super scary ship that he got after being kicked out of hell for being too evil, if I were a pirate I’d be like ”thank you for the idea, one armed Joe” and sail around scaring people_

 

_hahahahahahahahahaha_

 

_it’s all about tactics!_

 

”What makes this legend all the more interesting, though, is what comes next. The ship was called the cursed black pearl for a reason, that reason being stories of a terrible curse plaguing the crew of the _Black Pearl_. Not much is known of this curse, but it is said that it made the crew impossible to kill and as such, impossible to stop” 

 

_if a crew of undead show up to take your ship…that’s not ideal_

 

_yeah that sounds like the opposite of a curse_

 

_(unintelligible)_

 

_”the crew of the horrid ghost ship had a terrible curse placed upon them: deadpool’s superpowers!”_

 

_(wheeze)_

 

_it just made their job easier! this curse is lame!_

 

”Now, wether this is true is of course up for debate” 

 

_it sure isn’t!_

 

”But there are some theories suggesting that the ship, at least, was real. So let’s get to those”

 

”Theory one is that the ship was real, and belonged to a famous pirate named Hector Barbossa” 

 

_named WHAT?!_

 

_Hector Barbo- oh sHIT!!_

 

_that’s my DAD, Henry! what the fuck?!_

 

_hahahahahahahaha I didn’t even think about that! I swear!_

 

”Barbossa was active around the same time, and is recorded as having a large amount of ships under his command. There are, however, no official records of them, only different accounts of names. One of these is the ship that was supposedly Barbossa’s flagship- the _Queen Anne’s Revenge,_ and it’s been theorized that this ship could be the rumored _Black Pearl_ ” 

 

_I think I’d like this theory more if it weren’t for this guy having my dad’s name. how- how dare he?_

 

_you don’t think it’s cool?_

 

_wha- no I don’t think it’s cool! pirates were the worst!_

 

_I mean some pirates were cool. there are actually legends about-_

 

_they killed people, Henry!_

 

_yeah but, not all of them. one of my favorite pirates actually got branded for freeing slaves, not killing people, or whatever_

 

_okay that’s one cool pirate. the rest? trash_

 

”Our second theory is that the ship was one that previously belonged to the East India Trading Company, called the _Wicked Wench._ There was a real ship by that name, which was reportedly burned for unknown reasons a few years before the _Black Pearl_ became active. Some speculate that the ship could have survived and become a pirate ship under a new captain when the East India Trading Company didn’t want it anymore. In support of this theory is the fact that the _Wicked Wench_ reported incredible speeds for its time, breaking several records in a short amount of time. Since the _Black Pearl_ was reportedly impossible to catch, this could be a sign pointing to this theory being true” 

 

_hmmm…I think this theory would be way more likely if they hadn’t set the boat on fire_

 

_yeah there’s the question of how it would have survived. I’ll admit this theory is a little flawed_

 

_hey! I’m proud of you. it’s good to admit your mistakes once in a while_

 

_whatever. it’s still a good theory, it just could be better_

 

_yeah, yeah. unrelated but ”wicked wench”, I’m pretty sure I’ve been called that online at some point_

 

_hahahahahahahahaha_

 

”A third theory suggests that the ship was, in fact made up, possibly as a version of the legend of the _Flying Dutchman_ which uh…not to spoil anything, but it might not be the last time you hear about that on this show” 

 

_oooooh! foreshadowing, I like it. almost as much as I like this theory since it’s probably the one that’s true_

 

_I mean there are still records of a ship matching the Pearl’s description attacking settlements so…_

 

_as I said, that could either be someone using the legend for their gain or, hey, in every legend there’s a bit of truth_

 

_maybe, but I still think it’s odd_

 

_yeah well you also believe in alien abductions so…_

 

”Finally, the fourth theory is that the ship was not of this world at all, and instead a ghost ship. This could explain why the crew was reportedly impossible to kill, since they were already dead” 

 

_that’s it we’re shutting this down_

 

_hahahahahahahaha_

 

_that’s all folks! I’m going home_

 

_(unintelligible) wha- she’s, she’s actually leaving this isn’t a joke. she’s literally on her way out of the studio (wheeze)_

 

”Wether or not the _Black Pearl_ was real, it’s certainly an interesting story, and one that might spark a lot of important discussion. Until further evidence is found, however, the answer will have to wait and the mystery will remain unsolved”

 

[We see the same room as earlier, as credits roll on the screen. Henry is alone, now, laughing at Carina out of the shot. She throws an eraser at him and the camera cuts to black.]


	2. The Terrifying Tale Of The Kraken

[We open on the usual studio, a dimly lit room in which the two hosts are seated: Henry Turner and Carina Smyth. The former has brought a book, which appears to be quite old, the latter has brought a bag of french fries. 

 

”This week on Unsolved Mysteries we move on to our second in a series of legends of the sea: the mysterious monster known as the Kraken” Henry says, then turns to Carina for her reaction. 

 

”I’m all ears” She doesn’t look to be, as she is currently prioritizing eating french fries over looking at Henry. 

 

”I can see that. Well, I’m starting the episode anyway” Henry turns back to the camera with an exasperated look. 

 

”This is my _lunch_ Henry” 

 

We shift to narration, over a series of animated images.]

 

”The tale of the Kraken dates far back, first and foremost to Scandinavian folklore. However, it is a legend which has gained wide traction over the centuries, spreading so far as the Caribbean sea” 

 

_didn’t the last one do that too?_

 

_the Black Pearl?_

 

_yeah_

 

_it did, yeah. but there was a lot of piracy going on in that area, especially when a lot of the legends we’ll be discussing start showing up_

 

_hence the disney ride_

 

_hence the disney ride_

 

”The Kraken was described as a giant octopus, which would drag ships to the bottom of the ocean effortlessly, earning it a spot on several maps from the time. It was said to be so large that sailors would often mistake the Kraken for an island whenever it came up to the surface, and there are tales of entire crews going ”ashore” and even starting fires on the back of this horrifying beast” 

 

_question_

 

_you don’t have to raise your hand_

 

_why did it come to the surface? to sunbathe?_

 

_hahahahahaha no I- I don’t think it did actually_

 

_well then your story has some severe plot holes_

 

_(wheeze)_

 

”As for where this monster came from, and why it was so hostile, there are a number of theories, which we will now get into” 

 

”The first theory is that the Kraken was not, in fact, one monster, but rather a few different sightings of giant octopi which due to the limited scientific studies of such creatures at the time, were believed to be the same creature” 

 

_first of all, it’s ”octopuses”. not octopi_

 

_are you really going to correct my grammar?_

 

_second of all, yeah this theory sounds credible. I like it. I’m sticking with it and keeping it close to my heart as I can only assume it’s only going to go downhill from here_

 

_don’t be so sure of that_

 

_Henry, we’ve been over this. you’re my best friend and I value you as an individual. but you are what we in the scientific community refer to as a dumbass_

 

_…_

_wow that actually almost hurt a little. are you happy with yourself?_

 

_I am, thank you for asking_

 

”The second theory is that the Kraken was indeed one monster, possibly a freak of nature akin to Bigfoot. While this may sound incredible, it does make some manner of sense, since a lot of the stories of it describe it in a very similar manner. Stories of the Kraken having the horrific ability to suck a person’s face off with the suckers on its tentacles appear to have come from multiple different sources at around the same time, to just name an example” 

 

_then again that’s not so hard to make up if you’ve got lots of time out on sea doing nothing. and especially if you’re sailing with pirates because in that case you need to be creative if you wanna make something up to scare your buddies with_

 

_because you’ll all have seen so much shit?_

 

_yes! exactly!_

 

_it is kinda odd that a lot of people had this one idea and managed to spread it like that at the same time, and unrelated to each other though_

 

_it really makes you think, huh?_

 

_I mean when you use that voice it definitely doesn’t. can you at least pretend like you care?_

 

_no_

 

_(wheeze) please. for my sake_

 

_fine I’ll pretend. It really makes you think!! I wonder what some more cool and interesting Kraken facts are?!_

 

_hahahaha_

_well for one thing, I read it had terrible breath_

 

_THAT’S your coolest and most interesting Kraken fact?! Henry EVERYONE has had bad breath at some point_

 

_no I mean, like ”reeking odor of a thousand rotting corpses” bad_

 

_that’s just me in the morning after drunk me forgot to brush her teeth_

 

_…_

_fine. you’ve made your point_

 

_did you just admit I was right?_

 

_yes but it won’t happen again. don’t get caught up in hubris_

 

_too late_

 

”A third theory suggests that the Kraken could have been a servant of the devil of the sea- Davy Jones” 

 

_what do you think about that? you’re being uncharacteristically quiet_

 

_I’ve zoned out. I think nothing_

 

_so you won’t mind me telling you more about this theory then?_

 

_can’t hear you. I’m zoned out_

 

”While the legend of Davy Jones is a little much to get into in this episode, the cliff notes version is that he was a mystical sea devil who was said to take all who drowned at sea to his ”locker”. This theory suggests that the Kraken might have been a means to that end, as it was famous for drowning sailors and sinking their ships” 

 

_I mean that’s certainly an interesting fairy tale_

 

_wha- what kind of fairy tales are you reading_

 

_what’s that supposed to mean?_

 

_I don’t know I just don’t hear ”devil of the sea locked drowned people away forever” and my first thought is ”that sounds like a banging fairy tale”. maybe that’s a me thing_

 

_hahahahahaha_

_that sounds like a you thing yeah. me, I loved hearing about horrors of the deep when I was- uh, a kid (wheeze)_

 

_that does explain a lot about you_

 

_hahahahahahaha_

 

”As for the final theory, some have suggested that the Kraken might have been a sort of guard dog for the legendary Atlantis” 

 

_AT-WHAT-IS?!_

 

_I hear this pisses you off_

 

_listen Henry I…hate Atlantis. With a burning passion. The persistence of the legend provokes me_

 

_well, sucks to be you I guess_

 

_HENRY I SWEAR-_

 

”This is, admittedly, a little far fetched, but it would make sense for a civilization as shrouded in mystery to want something powerful to keep them hidden” 

 

_IN WHAT WORLD?!_

 

_(wheeze)_

 

_IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?!_

 

_no but-_

 

_DO YOU WANT ME TO LOOK UP THE DEFINITION OF ”SENSE” FOR YOU, HENRY?!_

 

”Even if it might seem unlikely, it’s important to discuss every theory when covering a legend such as the Kraken. After all, we can’t know for sure that it isn’t still out there. It simply has to remain unsolved” 

 

[Henry and Carina sit in silence as the credits roll, Carina obviously upset. Henry tries to say something but she hushes him. He tries again, she hushes him again. This goes on for some time, until we fade to black.]


	3. The Ruthless Butcher of the Sea

[Henry and Carina sit by their desk, for once looking almost equally excited. We’re greeted by Henry. 

 

”This week on Unsolved Mysteries we’re going to talk about the legendary Captain Salazar, also known as ”The Butcher of the Sea” or ”El Matador del Mar”” 

 

He turns to Carina as she starts talking. 

 

”Yes, and this one I’m actually really excited for, because this is an actual historical figure. I’ve heard this guy being mentioned before” 

 

”Well, you haven’t heard everything” 

 

Carina looks perplexed. 

 

”What’s that supposed to mean?” 

 

”Nothing, just you might find yourself surprised is all” Henry organizes his stack of papers. 

 

”Henry I swear to god if you bring ghosts into this I will…” She pauses, seemingly looking for the right words but finally settling on judgmental silence. Henry is silent too, for a moment, before turning to the camera. 

 

”Let’s get into it” 

 

We shift to narration, over a series of animated images.]

 

”Armando Salazar was born in the late 1600s to a wealthy Spanish admiral, positioned in the Caribbean sea. The boy’s life was idyllic, in fact, it was _too_ idyllic, as would soon be unveiled. 

 

Armando’s father was, when the boy was still young, arrested on grounds of treachery, having taken bribes from local pirates to turn a blind eyes to their activities. This was where his immense wealth came from, and as soon as he was stopped that wealth was taken away from the remainder of his family. His wife was sent to a workhouse, leaving Armando to take care of himself. At a very young age he enlisted, with a personal mission to do what his father hadn’t- eradicating piracy” 

 

_I must say, if the government took my parents away I think I’d go after them, rather than like…piracy as a concept_

 

_yeah, it does seem like his anger was somewhat misplaced_

 

”Armando quickly made a name for himself for his ruthlessness. He was known for leaving only one survivor on the pirate ships he sank so that they could ”tell the tale”. He went after every ship- no matter how insignificant- that sailed under a pirate flag and soon, a nickname started circulating for him all over the Caribbean sea: ”El Matador del Mar: The Butcher of the Sea”” 

 

_that’s a really cool nickname actually, I love that for him_

 

_isn’t it?_

 

_it seems our boy Mando is just doing swimmingly_

 

_(wheeze) Mando?_

 

_he’s got his career, his ship, got his life back on track. I almost feel like things are going too well for him_

 

_what like he’s peaked and now it’s gonna go downhill_

 

_yes, exactly. this man’s life is just a full on rollercoaster_

 

”During Armando’s time in the navy, he made an undeniable impact on the piracy in the area, having even been credited for contributing to the end of the golden age of piracy. However, his luck was soon to run out, as one day he, his ship and his crew vanished off the face of the earth” 

 

_what?!_

 

_I know right?!_

 

_no notorious pirate, no storm, he just ”poof”, went up in smoke?_

 

_yeah, and we still don’t know what happened to him how insane is that?!_

 

_that is pretty insane, and I’d love to hear some theories on why. I just have the feeling that your theories are going to be uh…questionable at best_

 

_hey, you just gotta have an open mind_

 

_is that what they call it nowadays?_

 

_”nowadays”? you sound like my dad, you know that right?_

 

_whatever, your theories are lame_

 

”The first theory as to why the Butcher of the Sea disappeared so abruptly is that he was defeated by a pirate crew, namely that of one Edward Teague. 

 

Armando had been after this pirate for a long time at the time of his disappearance, since Teague was one of the most powerful pirates at the time. It has been theorized that Armando was simply in over his head and was overpowered by Teague and his no doubt experienced crew. Teague _did_ after all, remain active long after Armando disappeared, being the only pirate captain to have avoided the wrath of the Butcher” 

 

_now who’s this guy? are we going to hear more about him?_

 

_…you’ll just have to wait and see_

 

_okay you have me hooked. I wanna know more about old Eddie_

_like I know pirates were awful, awful, no good at all, but I feel like Armando was getting a little too high and mighty. taking no prisoners man, that’s just…not how you wanna roll_

 

_it’s not ideal, no. kinda makes it seem like maybe…you’re just as bad as the pirates you’re going after_

 

_wow…that’s deep_

 

_it is deep_

 

”Our second theory for today, is that Armando and his crew fell victim to the Kraken” 

 

_literally, you were doing so well. I was rooting for you. we were all rooting for you_

 

_I mean if we go with the theory that the Kraken is just a really big octopus, then even you should be able to accept this theory_

 

_yes, but I don’t think you’re going with that theory, are you?_

 

_admittedly no, but-_

 

_then I’m done with this. I don’t wanna hear it_

 

_I mean there’s not much more than that. I just wanted to bring it up because I think it’s a fun theory_

 

_it’s not. please don’t talk to me ever again_

 

_hahahahaha_

 

”The third theory is that Armando accidentally sailed his ship into the mysterious ”Devil’s Triangle”, a legendary spot that is said to trap ships and curse them. There is no definitive location for where this would be, since reports vary, but one suggested site is eerily close to where Armando was last seen” 

 

_this is so fucking stupid_

 

_I’ll admit it’s a little thin, but I’m not done yet_

 

_that doesn’t bode well_

 

”There are actually a few other reports of ships disappearing in the area, and- interestingly enough- always with one survivor who would tell horrific tales of monsters, which were generally passed off as mad ramblings at the time” 

 

_and now as well. you can’t say at the time when it’s still true_

 

_it sounds cool, though_

 

_alright, I’ll give you that. but that is also all that I am willing to give you. this theory is…well for one that last bit could very well be a coincidence_

 

_yes but it could very well also NOT be a coincidence_

 

_(sigh) that’s…I guess, but the ghost stuff is still bullshit. you don’t think he was just chilling in the area and killing people for fun? he did seem, you know, kinda off the rails_

 

_what so he just decided pirate hunting wasn’t for him one day and quit?_

 

_maybe? maybe he remembered pirates weren’t the ones who fucked him over, it was the government and his dad_

 

_(wheeze) after twenty years of pirate hunting he was like ”oh shit what am I doing with my life?!”_

 

_”what monster have I become?!” (wheeze)_

 

_hahahahaha_

 

”Whatever happened to the Butcher of the Sea, his story is an interesting one. Did Armando Salazar finally meet his end at the hands of the pirates he was trying to exterminate, or was there something greater afoot? The mystery remains unsolved”

 

[”There is a sort of dramatic irony to him being killed by a pirate” Carina leans back in her chair and looks at Henry as credits roll on the screen ”Or what do you say?” 

 

”It would definitely make for a good movie. But so would one where he gets turned into a monster and starts killing indiscriminately” 

 

Carina just shakes her head, and we fade to black.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I feel like I should probably explain some stuff about the version of canon I'm going with for this story, basically salamander still got locked up in the triangle but he just never got out cus that plot point was dumb and dmtnt was fake anyway lol
> 
> I also want it noted that I did extensive research on his backstory and I now know more abt this funky guy than I really want to can I get an f in chat?


	4. The Devil Of The Sea Davy Jones

[We open to the same room as always, our hosts sat comfortably at the desk. Henry has brought them coffee and hands one mug to Carina as he opens the episode. 

 

”This week on Unsolved Mysteries we’re going to talk about one of the creepiest legends of the sea- Davy Jones”

 

”Finally” Carina rubs her hands together ”You’ve been bringing this guy up and I wanna know the facts” 

 

”Do you also maybe want to accept some facts that might fall outside of what you might believe in?” Henry smirks at her and she rolls her eyes. 

 

”Absolutely not” 

 

”Alright then”

 

We shift to narration, over a series of animated images.]

 

”The legend of Davy Jones dates as far back as to the 1700s, with his first literary mention being in the book _Four Years Voyages of Capt. George Roberts_ by Daniel Defoe, released in 1726. There, however, he’s only mentioned in reference to Davy Jones’ Locker, a term we’ll come back to in a moment. 

 

”Davy Jones as a character is first mentioned in _The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle,_ published in 1751 by a man by the name of Thomas Smollett, who describes Jones as ”the fiend that presides over all the evil spirits of the deep”. According to him, Jones appeared during bad weather such as hurricanes, as well as on shipwrecks, to warn of death. And here’s where we need to circle back to the term Davy Jones’ Locker”

 

_maybe he goes to high school._

 

_(wheeze)_

_he’s stuffing nerds into that locker._

 

_exactly!_

_”take that, nerd! how’s that for an omen of death”_

 

_(wheeze)_

 

”It is unclear how this term came to be, but Davy Jones’ Locker was used by sailors at the time to refer to the bottom of the sea. So for example, if someone drowned, or if a ship sank, you’d say they were in Davy Jones’ Locker”

 

_that’s pretty cool. next time I drop my phone in the sea I’m gonna say that instead of ”aw man I dropped my phone in the sea”._

 

_you’ve dropped your phone in the sea?_

 

_and what about it?_

 

_how?!_

 

_I was taking pictures for a class, jeez. don’t tell me you haven’t dropped your phone in some weird places._

 

_I mean I have dropped it in the toilet but that was-_

 

_(wheeze)_

_you should say Davy Jones’ Locker about that._

 

”So how did this legend start? And is there any truth to it? There are a few theories about this, so let’s get into them.

 

”Theory #1 is possibly the most boring, that the story of Davy Jones was just that- a story”

 

_yeah. yeah that’s basically it._

 

_don’t get too comfortable now._

 

_why not? what else could you possibly say about this?_

 

_oh you’ll see._

 

_I don’t particularly like that voice, Henry._

 

_…_

 

_I don’t particularly care for it._

 

”There have been some linking the story of Davy Jones to a norse myth about a creature called the Necken, which basically translates to ”The naked one” and dates much further back. This creature supposedly lured people into different bodies of water to drown them, which could be seen as a direct link to the Locker-myth. It is possible that norse sailors told the story where they sailed around the world, and it was picked up and rebranded” 

 

_I love that. I really do. because it sounds like they’re having like, this business meeting where a bunch of Swedish pirates are sitting around a table with this naked dude…_

 

_(wheeze)_

 

_and going ”hey we think you’re cool. big fans of your work. but you can’t go around with your dick out and a name no one can pronounce. you gotta think of your brand, bro.”_

 

_you think that’s how pirates talked?_

 

_okay then throw an ”argh” in there somewhere._

 

_(wheeze)_

 

_”ahoy mate! ye best get to workin’ on that brand o’ yourn! argh!”_

 

”The second, and final, theory is a little more interesting, however. There have been suggestions that Jones could have, at some point, been a normal sailor, with a few possible candidates. The not very famous David Jones, active around the 1630s in the Indian Ocean, being the first. However, there is sadly not much known about this pirate since he wasn’t very well known, and most historians argue that his lack of fame would have made it impossible for his name to spread as far and wide as that of Davy Jones.”

 

_poor guy._

 

_yeah he’s really getting overshadowed by sea-satan._

 

_(wheeze) ”sea-satan”._

 

_it wasn’t that funny._

 

_it was funny._

 

”Our second contender was reportedly a British pub owner, who’d drug sailors and lock them in his basements, to then forcibly recruit them to the navy. It is theorized that the basement could have turned into the mythical locker, but writings on this version of the tale vary greatly, with some claiming Jones developed from the character of the pub owner and others writing Jones himself as the pub owner”

 

_so it’s a bit of a mess._

 

_unlike your other theories._

 

_…shut up._

 

_never!_

 

”The third, and final, potential real-life basis of the legend is yet another pirate by the name of David Jones, however this one a lot more famous than the one of the Indian Ocean. This David Jones was a Scottish man, originally setting sail as far back as 1610, and made a name for himself as not just a pirate, but a skilled sailor. Fellow pirates from around that time would even say he had a goddess of the sea on his side. He amassed a great amount of fame both in life, and in death as that became a source of great mystery. See, David Jones didn’t just die. He completely vanished off the face of the earth, literally so according to certain accounts, who say he went to be with his godess” 

 

_this entire episode is just…”yeah, I guess that’s a nice story”, and nothing more. like I’m sorry I’m not offering any more insightful commentary, I just feel nothing. and I can’t take you seriously._

 

_that’s fine. I don’t care._

 

_(whispering) you kinda look like you do._

 

_okay, fine. I kinda care. but not any more than that._

 

_that’s okay._

 

_but don’t you think this is interesting at all? like, even if you don’t believe the legend you have to admit it’s interesting how it could have evolved._

 

_I just think you think it’s interesting because you like sea monsters, if I’m honest. and there’s nothing wrong with that!_

 

_whatever, you’re lame._

 

_hey!_

 

”What’s interesting about the last option, is how it relates to one piece of evidence I haven’t discussed yet. Namely, a series of letters from the head of the East India Trading Company- Lord Cutler Beckett, written around 1728. These letter, while lacking in detail, do reference a Davy Jones, but in a sense that can be interpreted both as him being a real life person, or a more mythical figure. Two things are for certain, though, Cutler Beckett claims to have spoken directly to Jones and he is described as a very skilled sailor. There is even talks, in the later letters, about a godess of the sea in relation to Jones, which leads some to believe that this Davy Jones is the same one that sailed the seas in 1610”

 

_one small problem with that. he’d be dead. like, super dead._

 

_not if he’s a mystical creature._

 

_Henry, I…I feel like this is worse, somehow. you know they say that feeling anything is better than feeling nothing, but I wish I could go back to feeling nothing right now._

 

_you don’t think it’s interesting?_

 

_no! i think this dude named Davy heard about the other Davy Jones and was like ”Sick, let me lean into that”._

 

_why would he do that, though?_

 

_to get people like you theorizing and get famous, obviously! if he just goes around calling himself Davy Jones then he doesn’t have to get famous by himself, he can just ride off the coattails of this other dude._

 

_I mean that’s one theory._

 

”Was the story of Davy Jones based on a real person, another myth or real-life accounts. With so little solid evidence, it’s hard to tell, but it is certainly a very interesting story, even though it will remain unsolved”

 

[The credits roll as the two hosts sit in silence, both of them drawing on a post-it note each. After some time, they hold up their work- two equally poor drawings, Henry’s of a man in tattered sailor’s clothes and Carina’s a man with a beard saying ”I am totes the real DJ”. 

 

”I think mine’s more accurate” Carina says ”Beside’s your guy looks like he’s got an octopus on his face”

 

”You just don’t understand art” Henry looks into the camera as we fade to black.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wig


	5. The Frightening Flying Dutchman

[We open on a dimly lit studio, as per usual. Our hosts- Henry and Carina are sitting at their desk. Henry has his hands folded on the table and Carina is scribbling on a post-it note while he welcomes us to the show. 

 

”This week on Unsolved Mysteries we’re discussing one of the more famous legends of the sea: the ghost ship the _Flying Dutchman_ ” 

 

”I literally stopped listening the moment you said ”ghost”” Carina continues scribbling and Henry rolls his eyes, then looks into the camera, still looking exasperated. 

 

”Let’s get into it”

 

We shift to narration, over a series of animated images.]

 

”The _Flying Dutchman_ is a legendary ghost ship, likely originating around the 17th century. It is referenced in literature for the first time, almost a century later in the 1790 book _Travels in various part of Europe, Asia and Africa during a series of thirty years and upward_ by John MacDonald”

 

_he he. MacDonald._

 

_…_

_you truly are a comedic genius._

 

_(giggling)_

 

”MacDonald describes the ship as appearing during bad weather, after being unable to anchor at the Cape of Good Hope during a storm and sinking, and this version of the legend would persist for some time. However, a few other details started showing up in the story over time. The most common version today, is that while the _Dutchman_ did get caught up in a storm, she, her crew and her captain managed to make it out alive, but at a horrible price. 

 

”See, it is said that during the storm, the _Dutchman’s_ captain said to himself that if he could only survive, he’d sell his soul to the devil. And lo and behold, as soon as he uttered those words, the devil appeared on deck before him, accepting his deal. The captain and his crew made it out of the storm, but after doing so became cursed to sail the seas forever, without ever going into port” 

 

_okay listen._

 

_I’m listening._

 

_I’m willing to put up with a lot of things. mermaids, krakens, whatever. but this is just getting a bit too much for me._

 

_if you’d let me finish, maybe you’d find that there’s a little more to this story?_

 

_there is? what would that be?_

 

_you’ll just have to wait and see._

 

”Now this might be easy to dismiss as a sailor’s tale, at least for the more skeptical viewers, but this legend has a surprising amount of tangible evidence supporting it, which leads me to believe there might be more to it than meets the eye”

 

_(mumbling)_

 

_what was that?_

 

_(louder) transformers._

 

_(wheeze)_

 

”There have been numerous alleged sightings of the _Flying Dutchman,_ dating as far back as the early 1600s and continuing- surprisingly- to this very day. And interestingly enough, there is a clear spike in them around the late 1720s, where almost a hundred navy soldiers claim to not only have seen it, but to have _boarded_ it. The name shows up in ship logs, diaries, letters and even in official records. Specifically the records of the East India Trading Company.”

 

_wait. pause. hold the phone._

 

_m-hm._

 

_didn’t you say something last episode about the head of the company saying some…truly bizarre shit about Davy Jones…around that time._

 

_exactly! I wanted to save the bit about the Dutchman as a surprise, but he did write about that and Davy Jones._

 

_so he was uh…insane?_

 

_I-_

_I mean maybe? But a lot of people do claim to also have seen the Dutchman. so that makes it pretty credible, in my opinion._

 

_yeah, here’s the thing though, Henry-_

 

_oh boy._

 

_just because a lot of people say they saw something doesn’t mean it’s real. a lot of people claim to have seen bigfoot. he’s not real._

 

_you don’t believe in bigfoot?_

 

_wha- NO, of course I don’t!_

 

_why do you choose to lead such a boring life?_

 

_science isn’t boring._

 

_it is a little._

 

_science rules._

 

_(wheeze) was that Bill Nye?_

 

_…yeah (laughing)_

 

”So what was the true story behind the _Flying Dutchman_? Let’s get into the theories.

 

Our first theory is that the _Dutchman_ was a real ship that sank at Cape of Good Hope, thus forming the basis for the legend, which in this version would be little more than a ghost story.”

 

_(snorts) ’in this version’._

 

_what’s that supposed to mean?_

 

_implying there are versions where it’s not a ghost story._

 

_there are! if you’d let me get to them!_

 

_fine. but be quick._

 

”It does seem unlikely that the exact same ship would keep appearing for as long as stories of the dutchman have, but it is also unclear how this one ship sinking could have spurred on such a long-living legend.”

 

_superstitious sailors. simple as that._

 

_…I don’t know if I feel like that’s enough?_

_I mean this is something pretty ordinary people have seen. like, landlubbers, I mean._

 

_(wheeze) landlubbers? did you just say LANDLUBBERS?_

 

_I’m sorry! (wheeze)_

_I’ve been reading too much about pirates. it’s starting to get to me._

 

_well, I look forward to seeing you come in with an eyepatch and a parrot next time._

 

_hahahahahahahahaha_

 

”Another theory suggests that the _Dutchman_ was the same ship, but under different captains. That would explain how it managed to sail for so long, though it doesn’t explain _why._ It is also worth mentioning that only two names are associated with the _Dutchman_ \- William Turner and Davy Jones.”

 

_William…Turner._

 

_why are you looking at me like that?_

 

_William Turner! Henry!_

 

_yeah, yeah I know. but that would suggest my dad being around four hundred years old._

 

_and that’s where you draw the line?_

 

_I mean it doesn’t work with the whole never going ashore thing either._

 

_the rules could have changed. maybe he renegotiated. maybe he outsources the job._

 

_(wheeze) I’ll ask him about it._

_but I was hoping to talk about, you know. Davy Jones. the man, the myth, the legend._

 

_emphasis on myth. was it Beckett who pitched that?_

 

_yes it was._

 

_then I’m calling bullshit._

 

_you’re always calling bullshit._

 

_yes but I don’t like him. I’m pretty sure he was insane._

 

”Davy Jones handily leads us into our third theory. Seeing as he was said to be immortal, he could have captained the _Dutchman_ since it first appeared, and with Cutler Beckett claiming it to be true, many people support the theory that Davy Jones was the _Dutchman’s_ captain. And it does seem quite fitting for a notorious ghost ship to be captained by the devil of the sea, doesn’t it?”

 

_yeah. sure._

 

_you don’t sound convinced._

 

_I’m not. but I want this over with._

 

”Whatever the case, it’s a very interesting tale. Was the _Flying Dutchman_ a real ship, or a simple ghost story? And who was her captain, the man who allegedly made a deal with the devil? The mystery remains unsolved.”

 

[The credits are rolling. Carina has stolen one of Henry’s papers and is folding it into a boat. Henry looks impressed by her origami skills. 

 

She finally finishes and holds it up.

 

”Hello Georgie!”

 

Henry bursts out laughing just as it fades to black.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment for Carina's ha ha funny reference


	6. Special Episode: Notable Pirates

[We open to the usual, dimly lit studio. However, some things are not as usual. For one, Henry is wearing an eyepatch and has a stuffed parrot taped to his shoulder. Secondly, an older man sits between Henry and Carina with his hands folded on the table.

 

Henry opens the episode.

 

”This week on Unsolved Mysteries we’re doing a bit of a special, on some of the pirates active in the time many of the legends we discuss originate. But first” He turns to the older man ”We have someone here to make an announcement”

 

”Yes” The man smiles, and waves at the camera ”Hello, YouTube. My name is William Turner and I’m here to announce that I am _not_ a three hundred year old immortal pirate”

 

Carina snickers and Henry nods, satisfied. After a cut, Will is gone.

 

”We’ve gotten so many comments about that” Henry sighs ”So I figured we should have him clarify”

 

”You heard it here first, folks” Carina adds ”He’s definitely not immortal”

 

”Well then, with that out of the way, let’s get to the episode”

 

We shift to narration over a series of animated images.]

 

”The first member of our rogues gallery is a man you might remember if you’ve followed this series for a while: captain Hector Barbossa”

 

_god…fucking damn it._

 

_(laughing)_

 

_I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. fuck this guy. I hate him._

 

_and you accuse MY dad of being an immortal pirate. turner is a lot more common than Barbossa, you know._

 

_that’s different._

 

_how?!_

 

_shut up. it’s different._

 

_(wheeze)_

 

”Captain Hector Barbossa first starts showing up in the beginning of the 18th century and gets mentioned more and more as time passes. By the 1750s he had amassed a pirate fleet of ten ships, and struck terror into the Caribbean. Records suggest him bribing the local navy, which added to his freedom. To put it simply- he was running completely wild. 

 

However, his reign would soon come to an end. In 1751, all of his fleet, save for his flag ship the _Queen Anne’s Revenge,_ were sunk in a very short period of time. It is unknown who did this, with speculations ranging from the navy to the butcher of the sea, who we discussed in a previous episode. But whatever happened, Barbossa was not nearly as active after that. He’s mentioned in a few documents from the early 1760s, but that’s about it”

 

_until, that is, the present day, when he pulled of the incredible feat of having the world’s most boring daughter._

 

_shut it! and I’m not boring!_

 

_you don’t believe in ghosts, that’s boring._

 

_I’m so done with you._

 

_anyway, do you have anything to say about this man’s exciting life?_

 

_no. just that I hate him and he should change his name._

 

_yes, I think everyone got that._

 

_(unintelligible)_

 

”Moving on, I can’t in good faith mention Barbossa, without also mentioning Edward Teach. Or, as he is more commonly known, Blackbeard”

 

_now HERE’S a guy I’ve heard of. what do you have about him?_

 

_a bunch of things, really. did you know he had 14 wives?_

 

_14?!_

 

_yeah!_

 

_what a…what a chad._

 

_(wheeze)_

 

”Blackbeard was supposedly born in the 1680s, and records of his death vary greatly. Most notably, it is said that he was beheaded in 1718, but legends also said that he survived said beheading and didn’t die until the 1740s. There are different versions of this story, but most records claim he was killed by none other than Barbossa. And this actually makes a lot of sense, see the flagship of Barbossa’s fleet- the _Queen Anne’s Revenge-_ is pretty much universally agreed to once have been Blackbeard’s ship” 

 

_yeah, that sounds reasonable enough. unless this Barbossa guy just named his own ship after Blackbeard’s to mess with people._

 

_that is certainly an interesting take, I’ll give you that._

 

”Though Blackbeard’s death is interesting, it pales in comparison to the many tales surrounding him in life. The idea of him surviving a beheading was only just the start. There are also tales of him hunting mermaids, raising the dead and using dark magic which let him control the winds”

 

_okay you’ve veered way off course here. I don’t want to hear about any magic._

 

_but it’s-_

 

_shush! no magic! just move on._

 

_…_

_I was done with the segment anyway, so fine._

 

”Next on our list is a rather interesting character- Captain Jack Sparrow. And I say interesting because we know very little about him before he is hired at the East India Trading company in 1710. However, he didn’t stay for long. Just six years later, after making his way up the ranks and becoming captain of his own ship, he was fired from the company and branded a pirate when he released a shipment of nearly 200 slaves” 

 

_so this is the guy I’ve told you about._

 

_I’ll admit that’s pretty badass of him._

 

_isn’t it?!_

_also you wanna know a cool thing?_

 

_sure._

 

_you know how I talked about a ship that beat some records and was burned in the_ Black Pearl _episode? the_ Wicked Wench.

 

_are you gonna tell me that was his ship?_

 

_yes!_

 

_this is a whole extended universe. could make for a proper franchise._

 

”The legends don’t stop there, though after 1716 there are far fewer records. Much like with Blackbeard, there are stories of him surviving incredible things, with one source even claiming Sparrow to have been swallowed by the Kraken at some point”

 

_okay you’ve officially lost me._

 

_I’m just presenting the stories._

 

_present stories that are less shit then._

 

_(wheeze) alright. I think you’re gonna like the next pirate._

 

”Finally we have one of the most notorious pirates from the golden age. A noblewoman turned pirate, and commonly referred to as the pirate king- Elizabeth Swann”

 

_now. before you say anything. I am aware of the coincidence here._

 

_Henry this is quite frankly getting ridiculous._

 

_I know! but I can’t change it, can I?_

 

”Elizabeth Swann was born in England in 1710, and moved to the English settlement Port Royal after her father was appointed governor of it in 1720. There, she seemed to have had a fairly normal life, and it is unclear what led to her turning to piracy, but around the 1730s, she starts popping up everywhere. With her ship, the _Empress,_ she and her crew went after merchant ships across pretty much the entire world. 

 

It has been suggested that this could have been the reason for her epithet ’pirate king’, but historians can’t come to an agreement, seeing as the more likely title in that case would have been ’pirate _queen_ ’. Some propose that the title had some greater meaning, but it’s practically impossible to find out what”

 

_a fun little tidbit, actually: apparently there’s supposed to be a book where we might be able to find some answers about this._

 

_you have my full, undivided attention._

 

_it’s been said that the pirates of the time had a code, but no one’s actually managed to find any copies of it._

 

_what like a handbook??_

 

_basically! there are references to it in a few places and I’ve even read an extraction. but we can’t be 100% sure it’s real._

 

_it would be fascinating if it were, I’ll give you that. seems a little unlike pirates, though, doesn’t it?_

 

_what, playing by a rulebook?_

 

_yeah that feels like the direct opposite of what a pirate would do. like you leave polite society because of all the damn rules and then there’s more rules?! I’d riot!_

 

”So there you have it, some interesting names from the golden age of piracy. We’ll be back next week with a regular episode of Unsolved Mysteries”

 

[The credits roll and we see the studio again. Carina is looking out of frame while Henry organizes his papers.

 

”Your dad is looking a bit uncomfortable” She elbows him and Henry looks out of frame as well.

 

”Are you doing alright?” He gets an unintelligible response and nods.

 

”Did you like the episode?” Carina asks. This response too, is unintelligible, but Carina looks pleased and gives Will a thumbs up.

 

We cut to black.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment for the will cameo uwuwuwuwu

**Author's Note:**

> oh yeet I'm deffo writing more chapters of this (also feedback is appreciated ljhgkhfkhgf)


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